I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fuck appropriateness.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
