You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
