singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is classic penis vs brain.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
