Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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