it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Kiss
Puke
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
