Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
