I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
