Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
