does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
