I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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