I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
