Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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