just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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