And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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