just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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