I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
