Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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