At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
