It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
