Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
