Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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