I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
