Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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