i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
