Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize