He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Never joke about your clitoris.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
