My hand turned me down
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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