dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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