where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
