i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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