I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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