I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
