sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
