Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
