PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
