what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
