I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
OPIZZABONMYDICK
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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