a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Help me help you realize you are a moron
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
