you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
