I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
