is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
