After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
