wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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