he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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