we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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