I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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