Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
