Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
