she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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