you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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