A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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