I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
