How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize