return my video game
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
