Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
