We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
