things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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