I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize