So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
