this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
