she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Randomize