So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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