He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
