My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
