i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
