Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
