No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
