i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
