The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You ate ashes out of my bong
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
