Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
