i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
