FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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