So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
