I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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