Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
