I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
