Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
